April 1, 2015: In a packed news
conference in Atlanta today, a NERC spokeswoman announced that the organization
has reached an agreement with Tom Alrich to purchase his popular eponymous blog
for an undisclosed sum. Reading a statement
by NERC President Gerry Cauley, the spokeswoman said “I have always greatly
admired Tom’s insights into the development and future enforcement of CIP Version
5. In fact, I have ordered that his posts
be printed out and delivered every morning on my breakfast table. I am very happy that he will now be under our
con…that is, part of our team, and working with us to make the rollout of CIP
v5 the most successful standards rollout in NERC’s history. I am also looking forward to finally being
cured of the morning indigestion that has been plaguing me the past year or so.”
The
spokeswoman further stated that Mr. Alrich had agreed to revise an undisclosed
number of his previous posts to correct “certain errors which may have
contributed to a misunderstanding of NERC’s actions related to the CIP v5
rollout process”. In addition, Mr.
Alrich has agreed that, going forward, he will strive to represent NERC in the
best possible light as it tries hard to accomplish the difficult task of
assuring a smooth, equitable rollout of this complex family of standards.
And here is my “press release”:
1. NERC
and I have been in negotiations on this deal for four months. I am very pleased that it was announced today,
exactly one year before the compliance date for CIP v5.
2. While
I have struggled until now to put out posts and still fulfill the obligations
of my day job, I’m pleased to announce that I will now have the financial
independence to devote full time to the blog.
In fact, to eliminate distractions, I will be moving from Chicago to
Bora Bora, Tahiti, where I will reside in a beachfront house that I have had my
eye on for years; the deal to purchase that house was also concluded today.
3. As
the spokeswoman mentioned, I will be revising – and in some cases removing – a
number of posts that contained somewhat inaccurate depictions of NERC and the
outstanding, courageous job they are doing in preparing for the monumental
rollout of CIP v5. However, I do want to
emphasize that this doesn’t affect all of my posts. I started the blog in January of 2013, and
have written 135 posts. Of this total,
only about 110 will be subject to revision or removal (mostly removal).
4. However,
given my new financial independence and my wish to devote my entire time to the
blog, I will be able to post much more frequently going forward, so the 100 or
so posts that will be removed won’t be missed.
The topics I will address include:
a. The
great job that NERC is doing as it confronts the many challenges of rolling out
CIP v5 in full by April 1, 2016.
b. Interpretation
issues in CIP v5, including which of the many NERC “interpretation” documents
can be seen as absolutely authoritative, and which others should be seen as
merely brilliant opinions of the writers.
c. Other
issues that go beyond NERC regulations or even cyber security in general. These issues include i) the danger posed to
humanity by the widespread belief in Mr. Darwin’s unproven theory of evolution,
as well as Dr. Einstein’s wild speculations on General Relativity; ii) Who lost China?; iii) the
communist-inspired effort to fluoridate
the nation’s water supplies; iv) the
martyrdom of the Branch
Dravidians; v) the little-known fact that the US government knew of the
9/11 attacks in advance and even aided them; vi) the fact that President Obama
is a Muslim, born in Kenya; and vii) how a government program that has provided
health insurance to 16 million people who didn’t have it is destroying the very
foundations of the US economy, all recent encouraging economic data
notwithstanding.
d. Reviews
of online cat videos.
So you see?
From now on, you will have much more than ever to look forward to in Tom
Alrich’s Blog. Stay tuned!
The views and opinions expressed here are my
own and don’t necessarily represent the views or opinions of Honeywell.
ha ha very funny!!!
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